So once upon a time, about seven years ago, there was a girl. A very special girl.
And by “special”, I mean “it was lucky for her that she didn’t injure herself getting out of bed in the morning”.
So this girl got a free membership to a very ritzy gym through her place of employment. She went to yoga four times a week for two months. She was feeling good.
Yoga was a good choice because honestly, slow movements and twisting yourself into a pretzel is an amazing idea for an accident magnet like her.
One day, this girl (we will call her “Mia” just to save time) decided to run on the treadmill.
Mia had never run before, unless something was chasing her or lululemon was having a sale.
side note: a lot has changed in seven years. For real.
So you can kinda see where this is going.
Mia got onto the treadmill and started walking at a slower pace. Not too slow, but slow enough that she couldn’t hurt herself.
Then she hit a button. Not sure of the purpose or what the heck the button said, but it made her fly off the back of the treadmill, into a floor-to-ceiling mirror, which may or may not have partially shattered.
So needless to say, Mia did not step foot in a gym again for about seven years.
Until this past week.
My fitfriend drug me into her gym. She basically threatened me with bodily harm if I didn’t go. Normally bodily harm doesn’t bother me, I played roller derby, after all.
But she is TERRIFYING.
So I went and worked out (arms and abs!) and had a great time.
I also had supervision.
So when I joined the gym (hooray!) and bought myself some pretty new shoes, I went back to the gym by myself.
I wanted to break in those awesome new shoes (Claire at Klicks in Bellingham, WA…. holla! Gait analysis and a pep talk. WINNING.) and I needed to do my last run for Zombies Run Week 2. (5k in 5 weeks, what????)
Yeah, it went awesome. I went in the movie room and got a treadmill and was watching The Omen, but came in halfway through and was kinda lost with the plot.
My treadmill was, unbeknownst to me, right next to a speaker. So there’s some scene where a dog comes out of nowhere and the sound was right next to my head, and I may or may my have jumped off my treadmill onto the (empty, thank God) treadmill next to me.
Then this morning, (Lost Boys in the movie room! Yayer!) I couldn’t get a treadmill. 8:30 is apparently a hot time at my gym.
So I tried an exercise bike. I sat there for about ten minutes, trying to cajole the thing to life. I asked it nicely, I hit it, I switched to the next open bike….the only way I could get it to work?
Switching the language to Portugese. So that was fun.
Will it deter me from going back? Nope. I love the gym now and I don’t even mind the locker room, and even though there’s a couple of lunkheads there, not a big deal.
I’ll be back.