To the parent who called my son a “little gay fairy boy” tonight at his middle school basketball game:

The word “gay” is not an insult in our house. It’s not used as a weapon, a casual insult or a way to describe something you really don’t care for.

Gay is just what some people are. Gay is Rain’s two moms or Jesse’s two dads. Gay is a lot of our roller derby friends. Gay looks pretty much the same as straight or bi or asexual. Gay is people you know.

If my son is gay, I hope he’s not as afraid to be gay as you seem to want to shame him into being. If he is and one day comes to me and tells me so, I will be just as proud of him that day as I am today. He is my son and no matter what, I will always adore the shit out of that kid.

My son, gay or not, is kind to everyone (even his sister who can be really annoying sometimes), polite, helpful, incredibly intelligent, modest, funny, sensitive and most of all, he is himself. I work very hard to allow him the environment to express himself in whatever way he chooses, be that in bright pink letters or green or blue or orange.

My son is amazing and not just because he is my son. Because he opens doors for everyone. Because sometimes his socks don’t match and he doesn’t care. Because he sings a little off key and dances like there is nobody watching. Because he eats like no other. Because, given the choice, he would choose a book over television.

So if he’s gay, he is still my son. He is the baby that slept through the night on day five. He is still the little boy who hated to get his hair cut, or take a bath. He is the young man who takes the longest.showers.ever.

He is my baby, my firstborn, and I love him even if he dyes his hair green or pierces his nose or….GASP….likes guys.

So you calling him a fairy boy could be true, or it could not. Doesn’t matter.

You said it as an insult, and as his mother, when I told you:

“shut your mouth, that’s my son“,

what I meant was:

“that’s my boy and I am proud of him no matter what and you trying to insult him that way is degrading, and just shows that you’re an ignorant assmonkey who has such low self esteem that he needs to pick on seventh graders to make himself feel better.”

Please watch what you say in front of children. I would hate for your son to turn out as damaged as you.

Xoxoxo,

Mia

Ps: your wife heard you say that.