The Mom Squad

This Mother’s Day, I’m working with Clever Girls in support of Macy’s Heart of Haiti to shine a light on the “trade, not aid” program, which provides sustainable income to Haitian artisans struggling to rebuild their lives and support their families after the 2010 earthquake.

Moms are hard to make friends with sometimes, especially if you’re new to the area. The town I live in is no exception, being one of the biggest little towns I’ve ever seen.

I’ve been incredibly lucky to find a group of mommas who not only accept me for me, but have taught me so much about how to be a strong mother and how to be an awesome friend. They have brought me wine when I’ve had a rough day, organized meals for each other, cared for each other during tough times, thrown parties to celebrate the most random things, and been there no matter what the hour or day or what we are doing. (I’ve been known to check my phone at halftime of a bout during a “Mom Crisis” to make sure everything is ok.)

And each of these ladies is someone I can’t imagine living without.

So let me introduce you to my Mom Squad:

This is my girl Sara (aka “Smooshy Face”, as Chuck calls her). She’s got two kiddos spaced like Boy Wonder and Chuck (hers are 3 and 13, both boys) and our kids all get along pretty well. She’s kinda crunchy and funny as hell. She’s got a fantastic smile that makes even the crankiest person turn that frown upside down. She’s crafty and driven, and is an amazing businesslady. (She’s the one who is the driving force behind this doula co-op we’ve been building.) She loves chickens (has 13 of them now) and we can talk on the phone for 45 minutes and still have leftover topics to hit when we see each other in person. She’s my sounding board and sometimes my “OMG, stoppit” voice. She’s awesome.

This is Autumn. Having had a transfer to a hospital with her first baby (who is a month younger than Chuck), this lady did research and reading and asking and everything to educate herself about birth two. She chose a homebirth and an incredible birth team and had the birth she planned for last week and I am so incredibly proud of her. She is the one who seems to do so much, and follows through with pins from Pinterest. Everyone loves her because she is so fabulous and a teeny tiny bit crunchy and hilarious and self-deprecating (without bordering on sad) and she is a joy to be around. I hope I get to walk (or run?) around the local parks with her and her two lovely ladies soon.

This is Tanya. The Warrior Momma. She doesn’t take any slack from ANYONE. She’s funny and sometimes loud Southern and has a bit of a drawl that sneaks into conversation and takes you by surprise. She’s a big personality in a little body, and will tell you exactly how she feels without being abrasive or rude. Her kiddo is a pretty good doppelganger for her momma, only in miniature size. (When she and Chuck get together, it’s pretty hilarious) She will also tell you when you’re being dumb, with no qualms about it. She loves wine and spending time with the girls, yet is the mom who runs up on the playtoy with the kids and hangs from the monkey bars. She’s a riot to hang out with and sends me job descriptions, knowing exactly what I’m looking for. Her laugh always makes me laugh and I don’t recall a single time we’ve hung out that I didn’t have fun.

This is Hayley. She knows exactly when to show up at your house and bring wine. She is the most giving person I’ve ever seen and is the first to jump on lending a hand when someone is in need. Her kids crack me up (H, her oldest is 3 and gave herself a pretty wicked haircut and R is almost 2 and is one of the most daring kids I’ve seen…next to Tanya’s Evil Kneivel child). She has a wicked dry sense of humor and the mom you can rely on to have wipes and diapers when you space out and forget yours. She’s a fabulous person and a wonderful friend and I never get tired of hanging out with her.

So this Mother’s Day, I salute all of these mommas, and the countless others that have offered advice and support to each other in this community. I don’t know what I would do without your texts and calls and weird jokes and Pinterest pins and Facebook posts.

My life would certainly be less full and much less boring. Thank you.

<3

Thank you to Macy’s Heart of Haiti for sponsoring my participation in this “Share Your Heart” promotion. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions expressed here are my own.

I'm still here.

Up here. On this plateau that seems to never end.

And I’m having issues seeing a way down.

I’ve stuck myself up here for nearly 6 months, and I haven’t budged much. I thought maybe having a certain medical procedure (NOT WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY) would help, but it just made me feel like garbage.

I’ve been relying on the magic of the universe or some other arbitrary bull-hockey to help me lose weight. But the problem isn’t my defective body or the fact that I’m wandering away from my weight loss group or that I’m losing faith (although the last two don’t help).

It’s me. I’m the problem.

I keep having to start over. I keep making excuses. I keep pushing away my friends and ignoring people who are trying to help me. I am self-sabotaging because I don’t want to fail.

I have some sort of sick inner voice that says “all of the women in your family were fat. Why do you think you’re going to be different?” I eat at night. I have a soda occasionally. I started smoking again. I don’t always eat my veggies. I don’t try my hardest at roller derby, and I’m suffering the consequences all by myself.

So this is my confession. My dirty little secrets (mostly) airing out all over the internet. This is the sick truth I live with. This is the monkey on my back I can’t seem to get rid of.

And I hate it. I want it to stop and I want it to go away and I’m lazy as hell and work is hard, yo.

So I need some encouragement, though I know I haven’t been very good at helping others, and I honestly don’t see how I deserve a forty-second chance at being supported.

I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me this time, because all of the other times I’ve let myself (and all of you) down. WAY DOWN.

This week’s Mamavation question: What would make you feel sexier?

Honestly? Being smaller. Being able to go into Victoria’s Secret and not having the saleslady ignore me. Buying smaller underpants.

But I have a secret weapon.

Roller Derby.

We wear tank tops and tiny shorts and shiny tights and nobody cares how big you are. I had a teammate tell me my booty looked fantastic in the wee shorts that are part of our uniform…and she’s the size of one of my legs.

People (besides your SO) telling you that you look awesome helps a lot. But being confident in yourself is the best of all.

This post is sponsored by Eden Fantasys and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women

Girl Scout Cookies, REDUX

So this is all Tania’s fault. She posted a link about a Girl Scout Cookie Recipe challenge, and I got sucked in. The Girl Scouts of Western Washington are savvy marketers, yo.

So I sat down with five boxes of Girl Scout cookies and tried to brainstorm something amazing.

The cupcakes Tania and I made last winter weren’t going to cut it. (We put Thin Mints in the bottom of a cupcake liner & used regular cupcake batter….they were delicious.)

So I came up with the recipe below. And please don’t blame me if your family decides to eat all of it before you get any. (Even my picky mother-in-law didn’t have anything to say because she was too busy eating :)

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO. I give you:

Shortbread Hazelnut Crusted Chicken with Lemon Veloute

Ingredients:
-5 thin skinless chicken breasts
-1 cup toasted hazelnuts (I used this recipe)
-1 sleeve Girl Scout Trefoils (the shortbread ones)
-2/3 cup flour
-1/2tsp ginger
-2 eggs
-1T water
-salt & pepper

For the sauce:
-1/2 lemon
-4T flour
-4T butter
-2 cups chicken broth

NOTE: You’ll want to start the sauce first, and set it to simmer while you’re prepping the chicken.

SAUCE:

1. In a medium-sized saucepan over high heat, melt the butter. When melted, but BEFORE it starts to bubble too much, remove pan from stove & QUICKLY whisk in the flour.

2. Return the pan to the stove and cook the paste (aka “roux), whisking frequently until it’s a pale yellow and is fragrant. This should take several minutes.

3. Remove the pan from the heat and whisk in half of the stock and juice from *half* of the lemon (in that order, and watch out for seeds). Make sure everything is well incorporated and a thick sauce forms without any lumps.

4. Return the pan to the heat and whisk in the remaining stock. Add zest from your lemon half. Lower heat to medium and bring it to a simmer.

5. Reduce heat (again) to low, and simmer the sauce for about 25 minutes, stirring occasionally and skimming any skin that might form.

6. Once the sauce gets to the thickness you’d like, season with a bit of salt & pepper to taste and strain the sauce through a sieve.

7. Serve warm over the chicken.

CHICKEN:

1. Pulse the hazelnuts in a food processor until pieces are even but not a paste. You can always pick the super large pieces out….but don’t make hazelnut butter!

2. Pulse the cookies in the food processor until it resembles coarse sand. Combine in a bowl with the hazelnuts. Set aside.

3. Mix the flour and the ginger, along with a couple of dashes of salt and pepper, in a bowl and set aside.

4. Crack eggs into yet another bowl, and mix together with the water.

5. Arrange your bowls next to the stove, like this photo. Crumbs closest to the burner, then egg, then flour. This way you can work quickly.

6. Pour just enough olive oil into a frying pan to LIGHTLY coat the bottom. (If you use too much, the outside gets soggy.) I used a pastry brush to spread it around. Heat oil over medium heat until it shimmers.

7. Working quickly, dredge BOTH sides of the chicken in the flour, then coat with the egg, then the cookie/hazelnut mix. Put into pan and cook until both sides are browned and internal temp reads 165F. (takes about 4 minutes per side.)

8. Serve with sauce spooned over the top.

I served this with a nice mixed spring green salad with a bit of Green Goddess dressing and my family ate it all before I got any!

So I hope if you make this, that you send me pictures or tell me what you think about it. As always, you can find me on Twitter or Facebook!

Little known fact: I was a Girl Scout when I was little. And I was a killer cookie seller. (Mommy Dearest worked in a law firm. That helped a lot.) I also have a lot of fond memories of the Girl Scouts from that time, and every time I buy a box of cookies, I like to think I’m helping to send a little girl to camp. Because their camps are AWESOME.

Don’t forget, you can buy your OWN Girl Scout cookies to try this, or any of the other recipes in the contest in Western Washington from March 2-18! Check out the Cookie Locator
…or (of course), there’s an app for that :)

Follow the Girl Scouts of Western Washington on Facebook or on Twitter….and check out the other recipes at #GSCookieRecipe!

FDA/FTC/USDA/FBI/GMC disclaimer: I did receive 5 boxes of cookies for this recipe challenge, and will receive a prize if my recipe wins their contest.

Clean Teeth and Crazy Moms

So I was contacted by Oral B a few months back to host a pretty awesome party for their baby/toddler lines of teeth care, called Oral B Stages.

Since Chuck’s very favorite thing to do is brush her teeth (no joke), I jumped on the chance.

So this past Sunday, a bunch of moms gathered together and talked toothbrushes!

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We snacked on popcorn with our constantly moving offspring, as well as some pretty sweet queso dip one of the mommas brought and some other goodies. Thanks to mommyParties and oral b, we also got to enjoy the new Winnie the Pooh movie! (big hit with the toddler group, the babies couldn’t have cared less and were more fascinated with the Christmas tree)

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Oral B was kind enough to supply brushes for everyone (and toothpaste!) and a bunch of fun goodies, as well as some awesome fact sheets on toothbrushing through the stages of a child’s life….

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A good time was had by all, for sure!

A big thank you to MommyParties and to Oral B for providing some great goodies and fun for my moms’ group!

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Disclaimer: the FDA or the FFA or the FEC or whomever makes me say that I received no monetary compensation for this post, but Oral B and MommyParties provided some cool toothbrush goodie bags for me and my friends.

Birthdays = yay! Cancer = BOO.

As most of you who’ve been around Bruises in the Frosting for a while are aware, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer about 18 months ago. June 21, 2010, to be exact. (and stage III, Carcinoma In Situ)

And it was one of the most baffling moments in my life.

I sat there in my ugly hospital gown, listening to Dr Lady Parts tell me in the world’s most awkward way that the part of my body that had held two babies for 9 months and performed quite beautifully through both labors was trying to murder me.

And I was alone.

Chef had gone to take Chuck to her doctor’s appointment at the same time, and I was alone. With Dr Lady Parts, who may or may not have ever informed someone they had cancer before.

I had no idea what to do. So I sat there and giggled. My default emotion when all others fail apparently is “giggly”. Awesome.

So after another 9 months, and being poked and prodded and having various people camp out around my ladyparts conferring with one another, I had the “semi scary surgery“.

And so far, that’s been it.

I have been incredibly lucky. Thanks to the constant ladyparts checks when I was pregnant with Chuck, they caught it early. I’ve had to have VERY little follow up so far, and I’ve had one “all clear” diagnosis. Two more, and I can go back to seeing Dr Lady Parts once a year, like everyone else.

But not everyone is as fortunate as I have been. I feel guilty even saying I’m a survivor, when I didn’t have to have major surgery and haven’t had to have chemo. I don’t bring cancer up in conversation with anyone because I don’t feel like I’m justified in even mentioning that I had a “skirmish” with cancer, when so many are fighting full out wars with that bastard.

So this video is for my friend K, who went through a full year of radiation AND chemo for cervical cancer and came out the other side. (And gave birth to a sweet little girl almost exactly a year ago!) This video is for my cousin J, who had three different kinds of cancer, more radiation treatments and surgeries than I can count and is still with us. This is for my girl A, who recently had a double mastectomy and is smack in the middle of the rough part of her battle. I am bringing you sunshine and cupcakes next week, momma.

And this video is for those we have lost. For the moms and the dads who lost their babies too early. For the brothers, the sisters, the grandmas and grandpas that we have gone so quickly, and for those who have lingered until business was finished. For my friend Rusty, whose momma slipped out of this world and into the next just a few hours ago.

May we all live to see a world with way more birthdays and far less cancer.

This post is sponsored by American Cancer Society.